— Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
— A backward poet writes inverse.
— A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
— Practice safe eating – always use condiments.
— Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
— A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
— A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
— Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
— Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
— Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
— Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
— When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.
— A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two tired.
— What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead giveaway.)
— Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
— In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
— She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
— A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
— If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
— With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
— When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
— The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
— You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
— Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
— He often broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.
— Every calendar’s days are numbered.
— A lot of money is tainted – It taint yours and it taint mine.
— A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
— He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
— A plateau is a high form of flattery.
— A midget fortuneteller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
— Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
— Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
— Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
— Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.
— Acupuncture is a jab well done.
Well, well, well ;-)