This is a shout-out for all sysadmins in the world!
Choose no life. Choose no career. Choose no family. Choose a fucking big computer. Choose disk arrays the size of washing machines, modern racks, DVD burners, and electrical coffee makers.
Choose no sleep, high caffeine, and mental insurance. Choose no friends. Choose black jeans and matching combat boots. Choose chairs for your office in a range of fucking fabrics.
Choose SMTP and wonder why the fuck you are logged on on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting in that chair looking at mind-numbing, spirit-crushing websites, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth.
Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in some miserable newsgroup, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up lusers Gates spawned to replace the computer-literate.
You will of course have recognised a parody of Trainspotting: