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Samuel Lee Jackson

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Don't Jimmy me !Jules (Samuel L. Jackson) : Hmm… God damn Jimmy ! This some serious gourmet shit! Me and Vincent woulda been satisfied with some freeze-dried Taster’s Choice, right ? Huh ! And he springs this serious gourmet shit on us. What flavor is this ?
Jimmy (Quentin Tarantino) : Knock it off, Julie.
Jules : What ?
Jimmy : I don’t need you to tell me how fuckin’ good my coffee is, okay ? I’m the one who buys it. I know how good it is. When Bonnie goes shopping, she buys shit. I buy the gourmet expensive stuff ’cause when I drink it, I wanna taste it. But you know what’s on my mind right now ? It ain’t the coffee in my kitchen. It’s the dead nigger in my garage.

For crying out loud !Internal Affairs Agent : Hang on ! (zooms in with binoculars)
This is one screwed-up crew…

Special Agent Derrick Vann (Samuel L. Jackson) : Alright… just so that there’s no confusion, here’s the deal : you’re in my world now not yours and in my world your responsibilities begin and end with me.

Andy Fidler (Eugene Levy): And what would these responsibilities be ?

Special Agent Derrick Vann : Well these guys think you want to badgun from them. I need you to meet them one more time and set up a bass so I can bust their ass.

Andy Fidler : Okay, I… I.. I’m developing a slight phobia about meeting these guys. The whole meeting thing, quite franky, is getting irritating – I have to be honest.

Look, I’ve done everything you’ve asked me to do. Why can’t I go ? Why does any of this have to do with me ???

Special Agent Derrick Vann : Because everytime these guys meet somebody new, they look out for the man. And you, most certainly do not look like the man.

Andy Fidler : Oooh I don’t look like the man… well thank you because that clears up… absolutely nothing ! Who… who’s the man ?

Special Agent Derrick Vann : The he, the pig, the poh-poh, 5-0, the undercover agent that’s gonna bust their ass ! You’re such a white ray son of a bitch these assholes trust you !

Andy Fidler : Well, you know, people do trust me.

Special Agent Derrick Vann : That’s not a compliment shit-stained !

Andy Fidler : Okay, you know what ? Why do you swear so much ? Do you think it makes you sound tougher ? When you just swear all the time ?

Special Agent Derrick Vann : Fuck you.

Andy Fidler : Okay that’s good. That’s really good. Really quality.

You know I could go around all day saying “f*** you”, “f*** this” and “f*** that” and “f***ing this, you motherf****r” but I don’t because there has to be some civility in the world.

So really there’s a trick you can use to curb that habit : everytime you feel like saying the f word just go ahead and say it and then add “crying out loud” :
“Fuck crying out loud”.
“Fock crying out loud”.
“Fock crying out loud”.
And before you know it, you’re saying “ooooh, for crying out loud”.

The Man

When I pull the strings... you dance !Andy Fidler (Eugene Levy): Do you have a plan ?

Special Agent Derrick Vann (Samuel L. Jackson) : … the hell is that supposed to mean ?

Andy Fidler : If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Just a little constructive criticism. Okay ? That’s how two people working together…

Special Agent Derrick Vann : Wow wow wow wow !!! We’re NOT working together !!! So get that out of your mind. Nobody said we were working together.

Andy Fidler : Excuse me ! YOU dragged me into this and I’m giving a speech at 10 AM tomorrow so the sooner you start treating me like a partner…

Special Agent Derrick Vann : Hey !!! We are NOT partners ! Ain’t no way in the world that can happen !

Andy Fidler : Well, what am I then hmmm ?

Special Agent Derrick Vann : What are you ? You are my bitch, that’s what. My own personal bitch. I pulled you out of lock-up as an S.W.C. which means Suspect Who’s Cooperating, which means I own your ass, which means when I pull the strings, you dance ! Till then, you sit there, keep your mouth shut and don’t say a word, like a puppet… you are !

– From The Man

My Bad Motherfucker !Honey Bunny (Amanda Plummer): I wanna go home !

Jules (Samuel L. Jackson) : Just hang in there, baby, you’re doing’ great, I’m proud of you and Ringo’s proud of you ! It’s almost over. Tell her you’re proud !

Pumpkin (Tim Roth) : I’m proud of you Honey Bunny.

Honey Bunny : I love you !

Pumpkin : I love you too Honey Bunny.

Jules : (to Pumpkin) Now. I want you to go in that bag and find my wallet.

Pumpkin : Which one is it?

Jules : It’s the one that says Bad Motherfucker.

(Pumpkin seeks in the bag)

Jules : That’s it ! That’s my bad motherfucker. Open it up and take out the money.

(Pumpkin opens the wallet, takes the cash)

Jules : Count it !

(Pumpkin counts)

Jules : How much is there ?

(Pumpkin counts again)

Pumpkin : About fifteen hundred dollars.

Jules : Okay, put it in your pocket, it’s yours. Now with the rest of those wallets and the register, that makes this a pretty successful little score eh ?

– From Pulp Fiction

Pulp fictionShooter : [busting the door, emptying his gun]
Die you motherfuckers !!!

[Gun clicks, no ammo left]

[Pause]

[Jules and Vincent look at each other then reply with their guns]

Vincent (John Travolta) : [to Marvin] Why the fuck didn’t you tell us somebody was in the bathroom ? Slipped your mind ? Did you forget that somebody was in there with a goddamn hand cannon?

Jules (Samuel L. Jackson) : Did you see the size of that gun right in front of us ? It was bigger than him !
[Pauses]
We should be fucking dead man !

Vincent : I know, we was lucky.

Jules : No no no no… that’s just wasn’t luck.

Vincent : Yeah maybe.

Jules : This was divine intervention. You know what “divine intervention” is ?

Vincent : I think so. That means that God came down from Heaven and stopped the bullets ?

Jules : That’s right ! That’s exactly what it means. God came down from Heaven and stopped these motherfucking bullets.

Vincent : I think it’s time for us to leave Jules.

Jules : Don’t do that ! Don’t fucking blow this shit up ! What just happened here was a fucking miracle !

Vincent : Chill Jules, this shit happens.

Jules : Wrong ! Wrong, this shit doesn’t just happen.

Vincent : Do you want to continue this theological discussion in the car or in a jailhouse with the cops ?

Jules : We should be fucking dead my friend ! What happened here was a miracle and I want you to fucking acknowledge it !

Vincent : Alright, it was a miracle. Can we go now ?

– From Pulp Fiction

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