Tag

humour

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  1. Indecision is the key to flexibility.
  2. There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.
  3. Happiness is merely the remission of pain.
  4. Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
  5. The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
  6. The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.
  7. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
  8. Things are more like they are today then they have ever been before.
  9. Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
  10. Everything should be made as simple as possible but no simpler.
  11. Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
  12. I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
  13. Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
  14. If you think that there is good in everybody, you haven’t met everybody.
  15. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
  16. One-seventh of your life is spent on Monday.
  17. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
  18. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
  19. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
  20. The older I get, the faster I was.

Quand un Liégeois parle de chiques à un Bruxellois, cela se passe comme ça :

Cette vidéo de la Communauté Française Wallonie – Bruxelles, réalisée par Benoît Mariage – auteur notamment de plusieurs longs métrages avec Benoît Poelvoorde -, vise à rapprocher les différentes communautés de Bruxelles et de Wallonie.

The following story makes sense if you know some music theory :

C, E-flat, and G go into a bar. The bartender says, « Sorry, but we don’t serve minors. » So the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished; the G is out flat.

An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, « Excuse me. I’ll just be a second. » An A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor.

Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims, « Get out now! You’re the seventh minor I’ve found in this bar tonight. »

The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next night in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says: « You’re looking sharp tonight, come on in! This could be a major development. » This proves to be the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit, and everything else, and stands there au naturel.

Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he’s under a rest. The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.

On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless. The bartender decides he needs a rest – and closes the bar.

Rapport de faute d’orthographe

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