Dammit. I had to make an oral presentation today and I totally screwed it up. Deeply, kindly but firmly. I have to say that I hate speaking in public in front of my colleagues. That uneasy feeling started a few years ago at university and never left me – that’s why I always try to skip presentations, exposés or the like. I never went to the practice exams (be it for my degree or my professional exam) because of that and should never have proposed to do it today. Some things will just never change.
Yet, I did it. And messed it up beautifully with a full load of blanks and awkward examples. My audience was giggling at my way of presenting things, the tutor was just burying herself into her chair and she would have fallen the edge had I continued past the leathal 20 minutes of ordeal I had to went through. My outline was shaky to say the least and I had no idea what I was going to say next, leading to silences and an uneasy feeling I was patching things up instead of delivering a constructed speech.
As a result, I got nailed and have to redo the whole thing and mail it to the tutor so that she can have a look at it before the real exam. I feel sick already.