The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners :

1. Cashtration (n.) : The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent… for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus : A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.) : The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating… The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.

9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Hipatitis : Terminal coolness.

11. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

12. Karmageddon : It’s when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then… the Earth explodes, and it’s a serious bummer.

13. Decafalon (n.) : The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you

14. Glibido : All talk and no action.

15. Dopeler effect : The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.) : The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.

17. Beelzebug (n.) : Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning… and cannot be cast out.

18. Caterpallor (n.) : The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.